Perseverance – Senior Year Series #4
This Senior Year Series all started from a “what I want you to know” list that just kept growing. It expanded rapidly from one to twenty thoughts. These are important life skills a student needs as they approach their “leave the nest” date. This list has nothing to do with laundry, cooking or money and everything about how to LIVE. Yes, being self-sufficient and learning to live independently is important, but trust me there were many things I didn’t know when I left the nest. I continue to learn new things every day because life is learned by LIVING.
Recently a word popped into my head and it’s been rattling around up there waiting to come out. Yesterday, I was looking over an article I started for this series some time ago, but just wasn’t feeling it. Suddenly it came to me, so I sat down to rewrite that article. This article…
The most important role of a parent is that of the student. A student of life, a scholar of mistakes, a lesson learner extraordinaire. As we live, we take these lessons and pass them on to our children. They see how we overcome obstacles, how we grow from our mistakes and how we fail before reaching success.
When the girls were little, we were having a rough patch, and I caught sight of their little faces as I was yelling at them. As I started to cry, I gathered them at the staircase where I told them the most important thing I will ever tell them. I said, “I am so sorry. I have no idea how to do this. There is no instruction guide to parenting. All I know is that I love you and I will try harder.”
The girls were very young, but this lesson wasn’t too early or too big for them. They understood, and that moment changed the dynamic of our relationship. It had the greatest impact on me because I changed the way I parented. Raising children isn’t about tasks, rules, and schedules. Those are important because children crave structure, but they crave LOVE more than anything else. The staircase became our place. We sat there often, basking in the quiet, huddled together. No agenda needed.
That day on the stairs we became a team, students of life, learning from one another. Some lessons harder than others, but the most important lesson of all is that love is the only thing that really matters. The greatest lessons in my life have been taught to me by my children, and the lesson of the day is perseverance. The teacher is my oldest, my Emma.
I look at my daughter and my heart wells up with pride and honor. She has endured more in her 17 years than most do in a lifetime. She has persevered through unimaginable pain and continued to be a light in this world. My eyes are burning just thinking how I wanted to protect her. I wanted to shield her from all of this sadness, but I am so very powerless.
Emma, once again, I say to you. “I am so very sorry. There is no instruction book and I have no idea what I am doing. All I know is I love you.”
I look at you and remember your very first day of school. How scared, yet excited we both were. Your senior year is the same, scared that it is the last but excited to see what the year will bring. Abundant possibilities await, like new knowledge, new friends, new experiences.
This year looks different than either of us expected. No one could have predicted you would lose your best friend, your sister, your dance partner. Each day with a guarded heart, you suck it up, bite your lip and keep putting one step in front of another…
You persevere through the pain.
Your kindergarten and first-grade years you watched your baby sister fight for her life. Forced to endure weeks of separation from your family and watch from a distance as we fought to beat cancer and come home to you. You fought your own battles as a sibling warrior often alone and without understanding. There is no instruction manual on how to face that sort of battle…
Little you learned to persevere through the pain.
In the end, we landed back together. Finally home, finally together. For the next seven years, nothing could separate us and your sisterly bond grew even stronger. You were the best big sister, watching after, caring for, laughing with… you truly were best friends.
Your freshman year began with the news your sister wouldn’t live and shortly after your sophomore year began she was gone. It was a blur, those days, weeks, months of sickness and sadness. All we had was love. Time was against us in every way. Yet you moved through each day with grace…
You persevered through the pain.
Even through loss and hardship, you come to each day with brand new strength. You have dreams and goals and you go after them, never complaining, never giving up. Just look at you and all you have accomplished. I could make an endless list, but the most important accomplishment is that of leadership. The lessons you have given by holding your head high and weathering the storm are awe-inspiring and will be remembered. I know you will carry these experiences with you into the world and help others weather the storms of life because…
You are the picture of perseverance.
I watch you move gracefully forward each day, sharing your smile and spirit with a world that will never truly understand. No one can know what drives you, only you know that. And this is where I switch gears from student to teacher and say that it is okay to put the shield down from time to time. Even the strongest struggle from time to time. The staircase to my heart will always have an open invitation. All I know is I love you and that is all that truly matters…
Together we will persevere.
