Wellness Wednesday – Blessed not Stressed

The hustle and bustle of holidays, has me feeling blue. I am pushing through, but my emotional meter has plateaued. I am officially in survival mode and desperately seeking ways to feel blessed not stressed. We decorated our tree last night, as we hung our family ornaments I forced myself to focus and not cry. At the end I was proud of myself, then I felt guilty for not crying.

As I unwrapped the ornaments I wanted to put everything back. What if Ava’s handmade ornaments got lost or broken? Then I realized I was obsessing over paper angels and foam ornaments because memories are too hard right now. There’s just too much…

This is our second Christmas without Ava, she had only been an angel for a couple of months so the first Christmas is a fog, a very painful fog. Although I am less numb then I was twelve months ago and the obsessing has decreased a bit the pain is still very raw.

I have learned there is no way to prepare for the emotional roller coaster the holidays bring. I can try to plan, I can try to anticipate, I can try to rationalize, but nothing will stop the waves of grief. The best I can do is lessen the stress and focus on my family’s needs and honoring Ava. Everything else is OPTIONAL!

Yes, the cookies, the decorations, the gifts are ALL optional. Christmas isn’t about THINGS. Losing Ava really put this into perspective for me. Of course, I miss buying her gifts and putting out her decorations is very hard. Making cookies was a special tradition that we didn’t do last year and possibly won’t again this year.

The key is remembering traditions are only special because of WHO is involved. Traditions are meant to evolve and change because life evolves. Some traditions are meant to end, which is hard but the memories made will last a forever.

If you find yourself stressing over something ask yourself, why is this important? Does it bring joy, honor or peace to yourself or someone you love, if so keep it, if not let it go?

If you find yourself in a frazzled frenzy yelling at people and running on fumes ask yourself, why? If it’s over the perfect gift, the perfect decorations, the perfect dessert spread, then its time to reevaluate. The best memories come from happy times, not manic moments.

The goal this season is to be blessed not stressed. From someone who has been living with chronic stress for over ten years, I know that is not easy. Life is not unicorns and rainbows, but I also know our society is stress driven, like a bus hanging over the edge of a cliff.

It’s time to pull the bus back and get on solid ground. The best way to do this is to start by taking inventory of what is truly important. Remember joy, honor, and peace, if those aren’t involved let them go. Then breathe, say “blessed not stressed” and repeat. Keep repeating.

In the end, based on the inventory taken, this holiday should be all about making joyful memories, honoring loved ones, and sharing peace.